Ever since I came out as bisexual last November, it seemed as though my life got a little crazier and more complicated.
I am a fairly open person so I obviously do not mind sharing what I am thinking, but others are not quite as outspoken as me. Before you decide to make assumptions or question bisexuals, here are 3 things you need to know.
1. To our friends of the same sex: No, we do not all of the sudden have a crush on you.
Just because I came out as liking both boys and girls, does not mean that I am suddenly attracted to my female friends. I do not want us to go off riding in the sunset and fall in love like an old John Hughes movie. I was not attracted to you before I came out and I still am not. So please, do not flatter yourself. I still love you though! This also applies to the stereotype that bisexuals are attracted to everyone that we see. This is ridiculous. Is every straight girl attracted to every guy she sees? Highly doubt it.
2. Our lives are not easier because we have “more options to choose from”.
This is probably the most annoying thing people say to bisexuals. I know most people mean well and they are trying to understand, but it is really insulting. Think about it this way, I highly doubt people would still love McDonalds if the menu had twice as many options. There was a scientific study done recently and they concluded that people feel less anxiety and can make decisions easier if there are less options to chose from. Same thing applies here. No, my life is not easier because I am bisexual, it is actually a lot more complicated.
3. It’s our life, not a phase.
A lot of people like to say that bisexuality is just a phase. A phase that usually leads to coming out as either gay or lesbian. I cannot deny that this does not happen, but that does not make bisexual individuals any less than real. Bisexuality is just as much of an identity as being gay or lesbian. Also, for those who do not know, there is a difference between being gay, lesbian, and bisexual. They are have different qualities and like different things. People like to say that bisexuals are “in a phase of their life”. I am not in a phase of my life where I am attracted to both males and females, I will always be attracted to both and always have been. End of story.
Samantha Kelleher is a Senior at the University of South Florida and plans on pursuing a degree and career in Student Affairs. She is a Resident Assistant and also in a Greek Panhellenic organization at USF.